I Am Sorry For What I Am

Kill me all at once please,
I cannot die every moment.
I am sorry for all I did,
And today, I really repent.

Forgive me for my silence,
For I did not shout aloud.
When I did something good,
And did not get any applaud.

I beg you all for pardon,
As I have been so very silly.
To have put in my heart and soul,
To do everything for everybody.

I am sorry that I did not complain,
When I was in pain and sorrow,
So foolishly I believed that,
I’d be valued and loved tomorrow.

I have been hurt and chided,
Everytime I fought for my right.
So at last I learned to suppress,
My dreams, desires and delight.

Valued and cared for their joy,
For my joy, I searched in theirs.
I cried in solitude when it pained
Because for my tears, who cares?

I am no God, just a simple human,
With a heart and flesh like you all.
Then why can’t I be one among you?
Why am I worthless and small?

Flying On The Wings Of Poetry (02.03.2005)

Imagine the Earth was not round but square,
Either day or night, but not both anywhere.
What if money grew on trees?
And men caught fruits from trees?
Kids running large businesses,
Elders at home making mess.
Instead of schools, principals and tutors,
Education given all the time on computers.
No buses or taxis but helicopters and planes,
To lift our heavy luggage, there were mini cranes.
Instruments that could read neighbors’ mind,
So that none could think anything of nasty kind.
People owned vehicles that would travel faster than light,
Then no time wasted in tickets and flights.
Couples went to moon for their honeymoon,
And ate in diamond plates with golden spoon.
Best holiday resorts were on Jupiter and Neptune,
Where cats and dogs sang beautiful tunes.
No war, no treaties,
Only peace and parties.
In this world politics had no place,
For that chair, no mad rush or race.
If such world ever comes into being,
New mankind would be worth seeing.
All this is nothing but just my fantasy,
I was trying to fly on the wings of poetry.

God Loves Me (23.10.2005)

One day I met God and I cried,
“All my life You gave me only pain.
You did not make me look good,
Nor atleast give me intelligent brain.

You did not gift me any art,
Which could earn me praise.
You never granted any of my wishes,
Though I prayed to You in so many ways.

Your angels stole from my life,
The man who was my guiding star.
I began to feel so helpless that,
My mind and heart were at war.

Why did You give me few friends,
When all others were given so many?
All shared their love with someone.
But You gave me nobody..!!”

God listened to all my woes,
With patience and gentle smile.
And when finally I became silent,
He stared at me lovingly for a while.

“My child!”, He began softly,
On my head placing His hand,
“You are one of those very few,
Who are blessed by me on this land.”

“By giving you so much pain,
I taught you the power of healing.
And by not giving you much intelligence,
I made you simple and not cunning.

I gave you the art of discovering,
In yourself the shining spark.
Your wishes were left unheard so that,
You achieve them by your hardwork.

The guiding star of your life,
Was a man who was a gem at heart.
I brought him to my paradise,
So you learn to carve your own path.

The few friends that are gifted to you,
Are the most loved angels of heaven,
They love you, care for you, and,
Will always be there when you need them.

I gave you a heart that feels,
Only the love that is pure and true.
I’ll give your love not just to anybody,
But someone who really deserves you.”

Thus saying, God held me,
In His warm embrace for sometime.
He made me feel His love and,
Gave me happiness for lifetime.

Main Aur Meri Padhai (06.04.2006)

Saal bhar humne poori masti ki,
College regular gaye, par classes bunk ki.
Baithe rahe yaaron ke saath canteen mein,
Socha padhai ka kya hai, kar lenge baad mein.

Aaya minor heart-attack ka roop lekar,
Mid-term jo likha agal-bagal dekhkar.
Kuch hi dino ke baad aaya pre-final,
Tab realize hua kitna wakt gaya hai nikal.

Ghar jaakar bhagwan ka naam liya,
Aur notes dhoondne ka kaam start kiya.
Yaad aaya class toh gaye nahi kabhi,
Toh bhai notes kahan se aayenge abhi!

Anatarmann se ek dheemi si awaaz nikli,
“Gadhede, nikaal woh books jo college ne di thi!”
Cupboard khola aur books par nazar daudaayi,
Haalat dekh unki naani aur par-naani yaad aayi.

Unn kitabon par aur mere bheje par,
Dhool jami hui thi ek baraabar.
Khair, jhaad foonk kar ek kitaab kholi,
Uss kitaab ne in-turn meri aankhein kholi.

Ek pal ke liye toh dil ne chaha,
Suicide kar, khatm kar dun kissa saara.
But then socha ek chance le lete hain,
Khud se padhne ke ek koshish kar lete hain.

Tabhi bhagwan ki daya drishti mujhpar padi,
Aur dimag mein mere ek bright batti jali.
Cell utha kar ek friend ko phone lagaya,
Aur bola-“Tu ready ho, main abhi aaya!”

Bike nikaali aur chal pade dhoope mein,
Socha friend ke saath baith kar padhai kar lein.
Fakr ho raha tha mujhe apne idea par,
Ye idea aaya mere life mein naya rang lekar.

Har roz ek friend ko target banaya,
Saath baith unke kuch kuch samajh paaya.
Ullu ki tarah raat-raat bhar jaag kar,
Subjects cover kiye maine ek-ek kar.

Zindagi meri pareshaan aatma ki tarah,
Raat din bhool bhatak rahi thi jagah-jagah.
Dhoop ne bana diya hans se kauwa mujhe,
Ab toh dost bhi pehchaanne se inkaar karne lage.

Raat bhar jaag kar jab hum din mein soye,
Sapno mein bhi theorems aur formula nazar aaye.
Apni har baat ke liye ek lamba proof deta,
To dost kehte-“Tera dimag fir gaya hai beta!”

Par aaj mere dil mein poori shaanti chaayi hai,
Kyunki meri pal-pal ki mehnat rang laayi hai,
Exam likhne ka baad dil ko ek satisfaction hua,
Mehnat kabhi bekar nahi jaati, ye realization hua.

Thanks to all my body parts and specially brain,
For helping me though I troubled you again and again.
Yaar-doston ka yogdaan bhi tha bahot bada,
But my most sincere thanks to you, O Khuda!!!

Itni Mohabbat Hai Tumse

Chaha hai tumhe chahat se zyada,
Samjha hai tujhe tujhse bhi zyada,
Najaane ye kaise ho gaya mere saath,
Ke maanne lage tujhe apno se bhi zyada.

Reh-reh kar aap jab bhi yaad aate hain,
Palkon par aansuon ke parde pad jaate hain,
Kehte hain khud se ke laut aaoge mere paas,
Par shayad aapka hi intezar karne lage sabse zyaada.

Kaun jaanta hai hum kaise tanha se ho gaye,
Muskurahaton mein chupa kar kitne aansu ro gaye,
Sochte hain har pal bas aapke hi baare mein,
Kisi aur ke baare mein kabhi socha nahi itna zyada.

Kitne raat humne jaag kar bitaaye,
Kyunki soye bhi toh khwab aapke hi aaye,
Khud ko ab hum kaise sambhalein,
Aadat bhi toh aapki hume ho gayi saanson se zyada.

Bichadne ka gam bahot bhaari lagta hai,
Bass aapki baahon mein rehne ka dil karta hai,
Kaise maange hum uss Khuda se koi dua,
Jab aapko hi hum maanne lage uss Khuda se zyada…!!!!

The Lost World (04.12.2005)

The world is changing,so are its people
Now they are showing instincts of animals.
All that people want is enjoyment and fun,
No one in this world cares for anyone.

Children mature before their right age,
And they want to be free,out of their cage.
Guidance given by elders is called “lecture”,
And the concern showed by them is “torture”.

Parents now believe that their son and daughter,
Know what’s good and bad,so they do not bother.
They don’t check what their kid does whole day,
They are too busy to guide their own child’s way.

The senses of the youngsters are growing numb,
Their deeds and words leave people dumb.
These nocturnes party and enjoy at night,
Disturbing normal people,they its their right.

Girls and boys are seen together everywhere,
What they talk,what they do,nobody cares.
Situations arise when their hearts control their minds,
Later they regret and wish if only they could rewind.

People are judged by their wealth and possessions,
Money is now considered man’s success and destination.
False image is presented to create good impression,
Everybody has begun to live in a world of illusion.

World is now more like a big factory,
Where humans act as its machinery.
Although they live and work together,
Yet there are no feelings for each other.

Humans are dividing into parties and groups,
Like animals move in herds and savages in troupes.
Destruction and commotion rule over our lives.
People are now more cunning than wise.

I wish to change this world once more,
I want to heal the hearts that are sore.
My prayers will be answered if and only,
I could teach this world to live peacefully.

Like charity,peace too begins at home,
So begin now and never think you are alone.
Love is easy to spread as everybody needs it,
And once they experience it,they’ll get used to it.

Love can heal deepest wounds,teach toughest lessons,
Provided the feeling is true and heart is concerned.
So lets not wait for others to get up and initiate,
And begin just now,before its too late.